By Denis Gannon (19401991)
sung to the tune of "Oh, Chrsitmas Tree"
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
To pass, what are my chances?
Derivatives I cannot take,
At integrals my fingers shake.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
My proofs are a disaster.
You pull a trick out of the air,
Or find a reason, God knows where.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
Related rates depress me.
I walk toward lampposts in my sleep,
And running water makes me weep.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
For mercy I'm beseeching.
My grades do not approach a B,
They're just an epsilon from D.
Oh, Calculus, Oh, Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
